Garlic-herb pork chops with cranberry-tamarind sauce over noodles with browned butter and almonds. It’s a heck of a mouthful, isn’t it? Okay, so maybe I should have named it “Pork a la Crappy Tuesday”, but that, while shorter, doesn’t sound quite so appetizing. I realized around 5:30 yesterday that I forgot to defrost meat in advance for dinner, and so grabbed the first thing I found that could fit in our microwave for a quick defrost: pork chops. I don’t advocate defrosting meat in the microwave, mind you. The edges get rubbery, and there’s questionable food temperatures going on in there…I’d omit it in the retelling for food safety’s sake, but it’s an important part of the story.

Right…so there I stood in the kitchen, with my mind on my truck rather than my dinner (I had just gotten back from the garage, and my poor pickup needs some major – although fortuntely warranty-covered – surgery). As the pork chops spun circles in the microwave, I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do for dinner. It’s been a few months since our last major supply run (yes, we shopone a quarter or so for staples. We have a large freezer, a pantry that takes up most of our dining room, and we’re weird like that.) and so whatever I put together was bound to be some sort of refrigerator velc…er, refrigerator hook-and-loop tape. This is probably more accruately pantry velcro, but that’s neither here nor there.

Hm. Perhaps I should have called this Parenthetical Comments and Tangents Pork. Anyway…Ding goes the pork. I start with a basic dredge-and-fry, add a little citrus, a little egg noodle goodness, a little crunch…what started out as “WTF is for dinner?!?!” ended up as a plate of balanced flavors and yum.

I know that my pantry is a bit unique, and that many folks out there won’t happen to have tamarind paste, a handful of almonds, and rubbed sage just lying around, but experiment with what you do have! (Or make this as written…it’s quite tasty.) Kitchen experimentation can lead to Dishes of Awesome (like this), meals that are rather mediocre (I made hot dog and pea risotto once), and occasionally some spectacular failures…but you don’t find the Dishes of Awesome unless you try.

Garlic-Herb Pork Chops with Cranberry-Tamarind Sauce over Noodles with Browned Butter and Almonds

Ingredients:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon garlic powder, divided
• 3 teaspoons dried tarragon, crushed, divided
• 1/2 teaspoon rubbed sage
• 1/2 teaspoon finely ground black pepper
• 6 boneless pork chops
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 5 tablespoons butter, divided
• 8 ounces egg noodles
• 1/4 cup chopped or slivered almonds
• 2 teaspoons seasoning salt
• 1/2 cup jellied cranberry sauce
• 2 tablespoons tamarind paste
• 1/2 cup dark rum

Place flour, 1 tablespoon garlic powder, 1 teaspoon tarragon, sage, and black pepper in a shallow bowl or large zip-top bag and stir or shake to combine. Dredge pork chops in seasoned flour; set aside. Preheat oven to its lowest setting (ours goes to 190°) and place a piece of heavy-duty aluminum foil on the top rack. Set a large pot of salted water to boil.

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a large sauté pan over medium-low heat. Add vegetable oil. Add three pork chops and cook until browned on one side; flip and cook until just brown on the other side. Remove to foil in warm oven and repeat with remaining chops. Add noodles to boiling water and cook until just al-dente.Drain.

Heat cranberry sauce in a small pot set over low heat. Whisk occasionally. When cranberry sauce has melted and is smooth, remove from heat and stir in tamarind, remaining tarragon, and rum. Return to the stove and increase heat to medium-high. Cook, stirring frequently, until alchol has evaporated and sauce begins to thicken slightly. Remove from heat and set aside to cool to room temperature.

Over low heat, melt the remaining butter in the pan used to cook the pork. Increase heat slightly and cook until butter begins to brown. Add almonds and toss. Add drained noodles and toss to combine. Increase heat to medium-high and cook for 3-5 minutes or until noodles begin to color. (Take care not to burn the almonds.) Add seasoned salt and remaining garlic just before serving.

To plate, place pork chops on a bed of almond noodles and drizzle with sauce. Serve immediately.

Today, like so many others, was an unplanned dinner day, where we pick and choose random things from the pantry and hope we end up with something good. Our base for this meal was a package of wonderful smoked pork chops from the box of meat* my dad gave us for Christmas. I started with the idea of a traditional pork chops and applesauce meal, and this chutney was born out of necessity: with no apple sauce in the house (and no time to make any before dinner), I decided to make a chutney from the dried apples on the shelf.

I didn’t really have any idea what I was doing, and ended up partially live-blogging the experience (and the resulting cup of tea) on Facebook, which went a little something like this:

1. Boil water to rehydrate apples
2. Pour water on apples
3. Make tea with leftover water
4. Drink tea
5. Add dried cranberries to the soaking water, ‘cos I can
6. Get ass in gear because Mer’s already frying pork chops
7. Drain and chop apples, cursing inwardly at the fruit that is still roughly the temperature of its soaking water
8. Decide to fry this shit up
9. Drink tea while waiting for Mer to finish frying pork

The end result (above), served with a side of cous cous cooked in chicken broth, was a completely amazing dinner that I can’t wait to make again. I only hope tomorrow’s leftovers are as good as tonight’s meal.

Dried Apple Chutney

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups dried apples
• 1/2 cup unsweetened dried cranberries
• 1 quart boiling water
• 1/4 cup dried minced onions
• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 3 tablespoons garam masala
• 1 teaspoon powdered ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 1/2 cups hard cider**

Place apples and cranberries in large bowl and cover with boiling water. Cover tightly and let sit 15 minutes. In a separate bowl, combine cider and onion. Let sit.

Carefully drain excess water from fruit, but do not squeeze. Chop apples into bite-sized pieces.

Melt butter in a sauté pan set over medium heat. Add spices and cook, stirring constantly, 1-2 minutes or until fragrant. Stir in fruit and vinegar. Increase heat to medium-high and allow to reduce by half. Add salt, pepper, and cider.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid has reduced to a light syrup. Serve immediately or cool and refrigerate.

Makes 2 1/2-3 cups.

*Yes, we got a box of meat for Christmas. My dad, a chef, gave us a box of assorted meat and poultry from his local butcher: steaks, chicken, top-quality burgers, and the yummy smoked pork we’re eating tonight. Best present EVER.

**I used Magner’s, our favorite hard cider that the local beer distributor inexplicably imports from Ireland.

A long time ago, in a galaxy…er, shire not so far, far away, I played (which is to say, cooked) in the kitchens of a medieval recreational group known as the SCA. For my first and only solo run as feastocrat, I played the part of an Italian chef who had been kidnapped by German Landsknechts and forced to serve dinner to their king and queen. Tongue firmly planted in cheek, I was determined to find a way to give them what they wanted…and served up spaghetti and meatballs, medieval-style.

These meatballs, served aside pasta cooked in chicken stock and topped with shaved parmesan cheese, were as delicious as they were fun.

Spiced Meatballs

Ingredients:

• 1 lb. chicken breast meat or boneless pork loin
• 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
• 2 tbsp. butter, softened
• 2 tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped fine
• 2 tbsp. fresh thyme, chopped fine
• 1/4 tsp. powdered ginger
• 1/4 tsp. ground cloves
• 1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
• 1/4 cup flour, as needed
• 2 quarts chicken stock
• ground cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and shaved parmesan, for garnish

Fill a medium pot 3/4 full with cold water and bring to a simmer. Poach chicken breasts or pork until just cooked. Drain and set aside to cool. When meat is cool, shred with forks and then chop with a knife until very fine (do not use food processor).

Place shredded meat in a medium bowl and, using your hands, combine meat, cheese, butter, parsley, thyme, ginger, cloves, and pepper. Mix thoroughly. Add flour until mixture is stiff but still slightly sticky, and roll into small (3/4-1″) balls.* Roll balls in flour and set on lined sheet pan. Chill for 1 hour**.

Bring chicken stock to a boil and drop meatballs into the stock in batches. Reduce heat and simmer balls for 10-12 minutes, or until cooked through. Move finished balls to a serving dish while the other batches are being cooked.

To serve, top meatballs with a small amount of hot stock, a sprinkling of cinnamon, ginger, and cloves, and a generous amount of parmesan cheese.

Serves 6-8.

*Tip: finished balls should be the size and texture of Swedish meatballs, not traditional Italian meatballs.

**Meatballs can be frozen at this point by placing the sheet pan into the freezer until the balls have frozen solid, and then bagging the frozen pieces so that they do not stick together. Resulting meatballs can be cooked from frozen.

This post was inspired by Serge the Concierge’s Get Cooking challenge, “Meatballs for Seth“.

Image by Dalyswe.

Ahoy, me hearties! Today be the grandest holiday ever yanked out of Poseidon’s bloomers, Talk Like A Pirate Day! Never a day more timbers be shivered, more ‘lubbers are landed, or more men blown down than this. We have a mighty good spread below decks for ye SRSLY fans, with a properly piratical theme to keep ye scurvy dogs sails full on yer day o’ swashbucklin’! Avast, hold true, and may ye live the good life in the sweet trade, matey’s!

SRrrrrSLY Scallywag Stew

Ingredients:

• 2 pounds pork, cubed
• 2 parsnips, roughly chopped
• 1 pound dried navy beans, rinsed and checked for stones
• 4 ounces dried cherries (unsweetened if you can find them), roughly chopped
• 2 tablespoons whole black peppercorns, cracked with the side of your knife
• 1 1/2 cups rum
• 1 1/2 cups chicken or ham stock (or both… or vegetable. Doesn’t really matter.)
• 1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
• 1 teaspoon whole cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon cardamom seeds

Regular method: Heat your soup pot to medium high, sear your pork cubes on all sides, about a minute per side. Reduce heat to medium, and deglaze your pot with stock, whisking to get all the brown bits off the bottom. Add all your ingredients, and simmer covered 3 to 4 hours, or until the beans are done.

SRSLY method: combine all ingredients in a zip-top bag and freeze. To serve, heat in slow cooker on low for 6 to 8 hours.

Served over hardtack, or barring that, biscuits will do too.

This recipe was cross-posted from our sister site, Living Behind the Curve. For more information about the “Slow Cooking Really Simplifies Life, Yo. (SRSLY)” method, click here.

Image by Landotter

Shrimp and Pork Pot Stickers

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup green onions
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro
• 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons water
• 2 teaspoons minced ginger
• salt to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
• 1/2 pound medium shrimp, peeled and de-veined
• 1/2 pound ground pork
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 2 egg whites, beaten, divided
• 36 won ton wrappers
• 4 teaspoons peanut oil

Combine green onions, cilantro, 2 tablespoons water, ginger, salt, sesame oil, shrimp, pork, and garlic in bowl of food processor and pulse until mixture forms a coarse paste.  Fill skins with mixture and seal with egg white.

Heat peanut oil in a large skillet or dutch oven.  Arrange dumplings, flat side down, in skillet, working in batches if necessary.  Cook 3 minutes or until bottoms are lightly brown and crispy.  Add remaining water to pan and cover tightly.  Cook an additional 3 minutes.  Uncover and cook until liquid evaporates.  Serve immediately.

Serves 8-10.

Many years ago, a friend handed me 2 grocery bags full of fresh plums from the trees on his property. That weekend, I made a number of plum cordials and some plum butter, along with this recipe. This chutney is a delightful accompaniment to pork or venison, and is excellent on a cracker or square of cocktail bread with a strong cheddar as an appetizer.

Sweet and Sour Plum Chutney

Ingredients:

• 3 pounds ripe plums, pitted and cut into 1″ pieces (skin on)
• 2 cups apple cider vinegar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh ginger
• 2 tablespoons mustard seed
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 tablespoon jarred hot pepper rings, diced
• 1/4 cup chopped green olives
• 1/2 cup diced onions
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic

In a medium stock pot, combine all but 1 cup plums with 1 cup vinegar. Cook, covered, over medium-low heat until plums are soft. Finely chop remaining plums; set aside. In a separate heavy-bottomed pot, melt sugars in remaining vinegar over medium heat. When plums are soft, puree with an immersion blender. Stir in sugar syrup and remaining ingredients, including diced plums, and bring to a boil. Immediately after mixture boils, reduce heat to low and simmer uncovered, stirring occasionally, for 3-4 hours or until sauce is thick. Pour into pint jars and refrigerate. Use within a week or freeze for up to 6 months.

Makes 2-3 pints.